Self Loathing

by mpumi mayisa

It can’t just be that 

It has to be more 

Cause for investigation

A full, clear inquiry 

About the ugly beliefs 

You neatly stitched onto

Yourself,

Or were they stitched onto

You?  

That might not be the 

Business anymore. 

What is it that you 

Don’t quite believe 

You can do for yourself? 

The thing that has you 

Running to their doorsteps 

Melting yourself into 

A puddle of water 

Always asking to 

Be gathered 

Scooped up

Saved.  

Not having to figure 

Your stuff out 

For yourself. 

Is it love?

That you don’t believe 

You can do for 

Yourself?